We will be stronger for it.

The last six words of Hon. Chris Piazza's ruling deeming Arkansas' gay marriage ban unconstitutional.  I appreciate his not mincing words.

For a week, gays + lesbians who wanted to marry in Arkansas, could.  For one week, the State of Arkansas was progressive, the first Southern state to grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples.  For a week, I had the honor of witnessing the (very guarded) joy of people who couldn't even fathom the idea of being wed in their beloved home state.  This might qualify as one of those 'you had to be there' experiences, but trust me when I say that it was awesome, exciting, beautiful, and real.  

Real life is so much more different than what is reported in the news.  

My co-worker told me of a conversation that she had with another co-worker who just couldn't wrap her head around it all.  "Why do 'they' make such a big deal out of it?," which is more of a critique than a genuine question.  Whether you agree or not, that is an awfully callous + arrogant thing to say.  It compelled me to write a little something.  I'm aware that this isn't my story or my fight, but I want my support to be clear and evident.

I do not accept the argument regarding the sanctity of marriage.  I do not have to look very far to see that it's not a viable defense.  My mum has been divorced three times, my father two.  That's not very inspiring, it's not uncommon, and doesn't really bring to mind inviolability.  Marriage just doesn't work out sometimes, no matter who is involved.  Not to be completely unromantic, but marriage can come off as a business arrangement, too, what with tax and insurance incentives.  

All of that said, recognition of a union, of love, is what 'they' want.  And equal protection under the law.  It's for any and all reasons any person who hopes to married or is married wants.  It's not that hard to understand, and yet...

It's a big deal, too, because there are some people who make it their life's work to ban gay marriage.  It's annoying, time consuming, and it will cost tax-payers millions because you all know -- deep down you know it to be true -- that it's unconstitutional.  You don't even have to be a legal scholar to know it.  So, it's a long, painful, harmful, expensive, dramatic farce that we are all forced into.  This never had to be a big deal, but here we are.  We've still a ways to go.  

Anyway, here's the good stuff.  This is the very first gay marriage license to be issued in Pulaski County, Arkansas:

Witnessing the Hon. Wendell Griffen officiate his first gay marriage was moving:

Yesterday, the AR Supremes issued a stay on the ban.  We're back to where we started.  But, I have faith in the judicial process.  It'll take time + money, of course.  I hope there is some relief that at the very least, the couples who did get married before the stay will be federally recognized.

Oof, I really want some wedding cake.